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kalends

9.9

A date that will never come used as a joke to delay something

noun
/ˈkeɪ.lɛndz/

Archaic

: calendas

He promised to finish the project by the kalends, but we all knew it would never happen.

Examples

We'll fix the car on the kalends of never.
The meeting was postponed to the kalends, so we stopped expecting it to take place.
Whenever she wants to avoid a task, she says she'll do it on the kalends.
The project is due on the kalends of next year.
She always promises to help with the chores on the kalends, but she never actually does.
His completion date was set for the kalends, a clear indication that it was unlikely to happen.
They rescheduled the event for the kalends, making it obvious that it would never occur.

Synonyms

May 35th

vskalends

Informal

9.9

A fake date people use to mean something will never happen

refers to an indefinitely postponed date used humorously rather than a specific impossible date

jam tomorrow

vskalends

Informal

9.9

A promise of good things in the future that never comes

refers to a postponed time point used humorously rather than a promised benefit

Surface Forms

kalends singular

kalends plural

Etymology

Kalends can also mean a date that will never come; a helpful way to remember this is the old joke 'to pay on the kalends', which meant a day you would never be paid. So saying something will happen 'on the kalends' is a humorous way to say it is postponed forever or 'never'.