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to come to terms

to come to terms

83 4.1
To accept a difficult situation or agree with someone after talking
  • phrasal verb
  • /kʌm tə tɜrmz/
translation icon : aceptar
  • One way or another, North and South would have to come to terms with that.
  • come to terms with the fact
  • try to come to terms
  • need to come to terms

And look, we were able to come to terms on the buyout.

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Examples

  • Alone in the still of the night, he struggled to come to terms with his feelings.

    Fiction book (1991)
  • The two men, who by this point hated each other, were unable to come to terms on transportation costs.

  • The last question I will do how do I help people come to terms and come to accept themselves?

  • And, and so now is the time where you are forced to, to come to terms with the things you have in your life.

  • There are things you have to come to terms with up here.

  • Right now, all this is about, simply, is you coming to terms with your situation.

  • We came to terms that we could agree upon.

  • And besides, each of them had other things, their own problems, to come to terms with.

    Fiction book (2002)
  • Over the years, they had gradually come to terms with the idea that Tommy was probably dead.

    Fiction book (2000)
  • After months of struggle, she finally learned to come to terms with her anxiety.

Synonyms

to come to terms with
vsto come to terms
76 4.1

To accept a difficult or unpleasant situation

is the shorter variant without that added preposition
to reach an agreement
vsto come to terms
35 3.0

Decide together after talking about the terms

includes that mutual decision but also personal acceptance without negotiation
to come to grips
vsto come to terms
30 5.5

Start to accept and deal with a difficult situation

leans toward accepting or reaching understanding rather than just beginning to act
to reconcile
vsto come to terms
27 5.8

To accept something unpleasant that you cannot change

also covers reaching an agreement or mutual understanding after struggle
to get to grips with
vsto come to terms
  • UK
3 5.4

To begin to understand and deal with a difficult subject or problem

emphasizes accepting or reconciling rather than starting to handle the problem
to settle a disagreement
vsto come to terms
1 3.1

Make people or groups agree after an argument

can mean personal acceptance or agreement, not only resolving disputes
to thrash out a compromise
vsto come to terms
5.7

Talk about things fully to reach an agreement when people disagree

focuses more on accepting or internal reconciliation rather than active bargaining

Antonyms

1.0

Have a different opinion from someone

839 1.9

Refuse to accept someone or something

How Accepting

to make peace
89 3.4
embrace
20 3.4
to accept
3.5
to come to terms
83 4.1
to resist
311 2.2

Surface Forms

come to terms infinitive
coming to terms present participle
comes to terms third person singular
come to terms past participle

Morphology

come + to + terms

There is a clear compositional link: 'come' (arrive at a state) combined with 'terms' (conditions) can plausibly yield 'arrive at conditions' or 'reach an agreement', so the agreement sense is somewhat derivable. However the common use 'come to terms (with)' meaning 'accept or reconcile oneself' is a conventionalized, metaphorical extension (arriving at mental 'terms') that a B1 learner may not reliably infer without exposure, so the expression is only partially transparent.

Etymology

Come to terms may come from old agreements: think of come as 'walking to' and terms as the written conditions people meet to sign. So the picture of going to the list of conditions explains both senses — to 'reach an agreement' with others and to 'accept' a difficult fact yourself.