find (one's) ass with both hands and a flashlight
- idiom
- Offensive
:
no encontrar ni su culo con las manos
- He’s so bad at his job, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.
Examples
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After trying for hours, she still couldn't find her ass with both hands and a flashlight.
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If you need help, ask someone else—he can’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.
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Don't find your ass with both hands and a flashlight!
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I can't find my ass with both hands and a flashlight!
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He is so disorganized that he can't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight when it comes to planning meetings.
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You need to help him; he truly can't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight when it comes to basic tasks.
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After losing track of everything, she joked that she couldn't find her ass with both hands and a flashlight.
Synonyms
2
9.9
To be unaware of what is happening around you
A rude way to say someone is very bad at simple tasks and easily confused
To be unable to manage even a very simple task because you are very bad at doing things
To be very bad at aiming at a target
Antonyms
How Competent
Surface Forms
Morphology
find + (one's) + ass + with + both + hand + and + a + flashlight
The literal meanings of the constituents (to 'find' one's 'ass' using 'both hands' and a 'flashlight') create a vivid, exaggerated image that signals extreme cluelessness or incompetence, so a learner who knows the words can often infer the general sense. However, the expression is vulgar, metaphorical, and culturally humorous rather than a straightforward compositional instruction, so the precise pragmatic force and idiomatic usage are not fully predictable without exposure.
Etymology
Find (one's) ass with both hands and a flashlight is a rude joke that creates a clear picture: imagine someone so confused they cannot find their own ass even with both hands and a flashlight. That's why it means 'extremely disorganized or clueless'.