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Glite Dictionary
to hold over someone's head

to hold over someone's head

8.1
To threaten someone with a past mistake to control them
  • phrasal verb
translation icon : usar como amenaza
  • He would often hold his sister's secret over her head to make her do what he wanted.

Examples

  • I've heard countless stories about couples upset and arguing about things in the past, and only one person is continuing to hold the issue over the other person's head.

    Blog text (18)

  • She was tired of him constantly holding past mistakes over her head during their arguments.

  • Because you can't hold it over somebody's head and scare the crap out of them to manipulate their behavior?

    Fiction book (2000)

  • Don't let anyone hold a mistake from your past over your head to control your actions.

Synonyms

to manipulate
vsto hold over someone's head
382 6.1

To control people or things in a clever, often dishonest way

relies on threats or secrets as leverage rather than general influence tactics
to blackmail
vsto hold over someone's head
139 5.6

To force someone to give money or do something by threatening to tell their secret

is broader because it can use past faults to control without demanding money
to hold over one's head
vsto hold over someone's head
3 7.7

To keep reminding someone of a past mistake to control them

uses a past fault as leverage or threat rather than repeated reminders
to hold over
vsto hold over someone's head
3 7.2

To threaten someone with secret information to make them obey

focuses on using past secrets as leverage rather than general intimidation

Antonyms

to release
∞ 1.8

To let someone or something go free from being held

How Controlling

to blackmail
139 5.6
to hold over someone's head
8.1
to leverage
114 5.4

Surface Forms

hold over someone's head infinitive
holding over someone's head present participle
holds over someone's head third person singular
held over someone's head past
held over someone's head past participle

Morphology

hold + over + someone's + head

The literal meanings of 'hold', 'over' and 'head' create a clear image of something being held above a person's head, which can cue a learner to a metaphor of threat or leverage. However, the specific pragmatic meaning of using a secret or past mistake as control is a figurative extension that is not fully predictable from the parts alone, so a B1 learner may need prior exposure to grasp the exact sense.

Etymology

Hold over someone's head comes from the image of a person literally holding an object above another person's head to frighten or threaten them. So, if you 'hold' a secret or past mistake 'over someone's head', you use it to threaten or control them, and that is why the phrase means 'to use someone's past to make them do what you want'.